Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Super Heros-Reading the Human Mind.
My head is filled with many different thoughts, emotions and fears. I can't seem to get rid of them, there stuck. All the voices I hear whether they are far or near, they're all a jumbled mess in my head. People are coming in all different directions with their thoughts, no where for me to go or hide. Hearing the constent whispers all at one is just to much to take in. I hardly think about things I want. It's really never about me anymore. But at the same time it is rewarding to know how others think, how different minds work; how they deal with their issuse or what they think about. This is why I would like to have the power of reading the human mind. It is a challenge to want such ability but if Edward Cullens can do it than so can I. Have you ever wanted to help a loved one: boyfriends, girlfriends or just someone you truly care for? You can reach this success by choosing this power.(not finished)...............
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It's good kayla just need a bit more length, also one sentence starts with But (end of 4th line)
ReplyDeleteAlso to set up msn just go to:
download.live.com (just type that in new window)
Hahah lol yeah I think is should change it, i'm not dont, not yet..but getting there. Ok i'll try that! :D
ReplyDeleteKayla... you has to add my blog|!!! its kailey :P toxxikk-scar
ReplyDeletei like this post kayla. i find u have a good powerfull intro. and yes you need to add length and a little length and diction
ReplyDeleteOmg! I totally posted, how come there no comment? I guess I'll try and say what I said again then. It was something like "Wow, you wrote alot, more than me anyways. And i'm pretty sue Tia said "thauhdujdfff" or something like that. I really like, it's good, but you said "ride" instead of rid. lolz xD Ok, um maybe a bit more punctuation though. You gotta finish it girl! I wanna read more! O.O MORE
ReplyDeleteAWE! Chelse, I sooo wrote more than "thauhdujdfff" XP
ReplyDeleteNow about Kayla's work. I can tell that you have put a lot of thought into your superpower. That's great! Heed Dallas and Dustin's constructive criticism- I agree with what they have to say. It's mainly a matter of diction. You seem to have trouble using "there", "their", and "they're" in proper context, of which can be easily fixed.
It's looking great, hun! Keep up the good work =)
HAHAH. Well thanks guys for your "nice" criticism :D lol
ReplyDeleteI appreciate it, I will try to fix it up, so that it could make a bit more sence. Man Tia I was reading the one that you wrote, didn't get to read all but so far it is really good, love!
CHELSAE-man haha I will try and make it longer JUST for you love!!! I didn't even notice that I even did that lol. Thanks for pointing that out. :D
This power has been written over and over again, and I have said this in other blogs, but I do not agree with this power, but if it is what you what, then that is fine. But you do have run on senstences and you have a couple of spelling mistakes. Try fixing those and putting a little more detail into the post and I think it'll be a lot better.
ReplyDelete-Arlene
It is what I want!... I'm not quite done yet but thank you for your advice, it will help me!
ReplyDelete=)